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On a practical level, desperation hurts you in a multitude of ways.
You’re less likely to meet someone you would consider you will be turned off when they realize that any warm body will do and still more will assume that there must be a reason why you’ve been refused so often.
If, for example, you believe that only “alpha” – for a suitably mistaken definition of “alpha” men get women, then that will be part of your reality.
Not because it’s notice or pay heed to that which confirms your pre-existing belief.
The metaphorical scent of desperation is the antithesis of attraction; much like negativity, it suffuses about you, from the way you speak to the way you act. It screams of low self-esteem and equally low regard for the person on the receiving end of their attentions.
After all, when you’re coming off as desperate, you’re telling the everyone around you that you don’t care for them as a person so much as what they : a featureless mannikin dressed up in entitlement and frustrated desire.
It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.
I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize…
The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.
Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.
Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…