It does feel like a death, as they say - and most days I feel more dead than alive. He had been cheating on me with a woman half our age- a year older than his oldest daughter.Divorce Recovery Programs and Divorce support Groups can offer the learning and understanding of the emotional 'process' we follow after a relationship breakdown AND the opportunity to relate to other people in our situation (recovering fro separation or divorce). We separated and once she started pressuring him for a commitment he realized "Oh I already have a wife and children! Came back to me seeking to reconcile but all I received from him we're hollow words with no action. As painful as this is (and knowing I too contributed to the breakdown of our marriage) no one deserves to live a life filled with dishonesty, infidelity and lies. He cannot show true emotion and I only learned this through living and being with him for 7 years- he won't let anyone in to his real feelings and emotions.Getting proper rest, eating healthfully,exercising and spending time in nature, spending time with supportive and mature, loving friends, a support group like Divorce Care finding a good counselor, keeping to a budget, making time to do some things you enjoy are helpful in recovering from a divorce. With that being said I choose to be happy but find myself just placing one foot in front of the other in order to continue on. I ask God to help me with forgiveness, not just towards my husband but I need to forgive myself for still loving a man that has done awful things. My wife was the greater earner, so my finances immediately went down the crapper.Prayer and quiet time in the morning help keep you centered when challenges occur. how good honest, deeply caring, passionate, loyal family loving people.. I choose to forgive my ex-wife for leaving me, I hold onto some sort of hope that eventually I will be relatively happy one day. At the end of the day God allowed this to happen to us for a reason either we will be victims or victors. I defaulted on student loans and destroyed my credit.By done, I mean recovered to the point where you are no longer weighted down by thoughts and feelings about your spouse or your marriage and the pain of the split is a distant memory.) While no one can tell you exactly when this will be, I can tell you there are things you can do to make the process harder, and there are things you can do to ease the process. Stick your head in the sand and hope it will go away 5. It was my idea to get a divorce because I was tired of her blaming me for everything.
There is no magic formula and no way to get through your grief on the fast track. Be willing to make mistakes (mistakes are going to happen no matter how well prepared you are - it's just part of the process While I know there are more ways people have to impede or improve their recovery process, this list gives you a general overview of the do's and don'ts as well as the reminder that you can get through it but you'll need a good set of emotional and mental "tools." I will add a note here also to those may be beyond the time it "should have"taken.Although we are only separated and he trying to "figure things out", many lives have been ruined. I have no practical advice, but forgive the other person, let go of the anger. My wife got caught up in a romance scam and I forgave her. It also puts you in an advantage to dictate if you want to save it or not. It was my dream to raise a family and live a modest, happy life. I have never met him, but have to at some point because of my son. I wish I had some light-at-the-end of-the-tunnel anecdote, but unfortunately I don't. But, I liked your comment and wanted to reinforce what many other contributors to the conversation have said: We're not alone and we certainly DON'T take this lightly. I would like to check back into this thread in the future and share what I've learned. I don't know whether you'll ever see this but I would love to know whether, as everyone tells me, "Things get better! I believe He created all things seen and unseen, which does include marriage.Her response was to go online with many men and wanting to meet them. We sold our home and split the dogs up and even my little jack Russell suffered as she took his best buddy away even though I offered her 3000 dollars for him. He did not intend for it to be broken by us, we are the source of the problems with marriage.I found that keeping a journal really helped me get through the process. I was married for 7 years to a broken angel, I tried to fix her and show her what real love and devotion was about when first of all I didn't understand my roles as a husband and a father. I can see where I contributed to the demise of my marriage but I will never take responsibility for my ex's infidelities.Having a good support system in tact is extremely crucial as well. you scumbags will have a world all to your selves .. I also didn't realize that one person cannot fix another; we can only show them love and support, or not, while the other goes through life dealing with their brokenness in healthy ways or destructive ways. they won't be there when your in the depths of hades... He CHOSE to do that and there are consequences for that now.
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I like the journaling technique described in the Artist's Way by Julie Cameron. Keep watching for the good things that come your way and your children's way everyday. My husband of 31 years (60 years old now) left me for a Mainalnd Chinese woman of 28. What I did on the initial onset of the divorce was perhaps a mistake but here I am, I busied myself with my work, exercise, classes, counseling, and several other things that essentially was me running from the pain. I think we are similar in that we CHOOSE to be victors. My parents, happily married 35-plus years, have supported me to the point they are also broke. I don't know how I ended up here tonight, but I was struck by how similar our feelings are despite our stations in life.