A friend of mine is a prime example of an intimidating person.
She’s pretty, intelligent, confident, has a great education and a high-income job in finance.
Now that we’ve set the foundation with these two mindsets (You don’t need to take it personally because it’s often a defense, and focus on making people like being around you rather than liking you) it’s time to follow the 5 steps below, based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), to become better at dealing with anyone who’s intimidating.
CBT is a well-researched field and is used by psychologists all over the world when it comes to changing behavior and dealing with feelings.
As I’ve gotten to know her better she’s opened up about having a low self-esteem.
She feels safer when she can hide behind that perfect surface. An example is a psychopath without insecurities who just wants to intimidate others. Ironically, it’s often those who feel the most need to compensate for their insecurities who come off as the most intimidating.
After all, you can’t remove feelings and most people get intimidated every once in awhile, so why not be okay with it?
Lesson learned: Whenever you’re around someone who intimidates you, think: “Now I’m intimidated, and that’s OK.” Then you can move forward to face (and conquer) your fears instead of fighting your own feelings.
This insight helps us to not take their intimidation personally and b) it helps us understand that their “perfect surface” more often than not is a protection for their low self-esteem. It can be stressful to be around intimidating people and feel that being inferior will make them dislike us.While Peter Economy has spent the better part of two decades of his life slugging it out mano a mano in the management trenches, he is now a full-time ghostwriter and best-selling author of more than 85 books -- including for more than 12 years, where he has worked on projects with the likes of Jim Collins, Frances Hesselbein, Marshall Goldsmith, and many other top management and leadership thinkers. Although many of us have found that there's a stigma that goes along being someone who is considered to be intimidating--or any of its closer synonyms like bossy, overpowering, or demanding--could it be that coming off as a force to reckon with can actually be a good thing? Ever wondered just how coming off too strong might actually be a good thing? Even though everyone sticks up for himself or herself every now and then, if you appear as a strong personality, people will know that you're not someone who will be pushed around.Rather than taking senseless blows, people know not to treat you poorly from the very start.Those who are called intimidating are usually regarded as such because they know how to win.They're used to being the best, and they aren't afraid to do what they need to in order to get there.