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The idea has changed over the years because many women found that their relationships did not go through these phases. It may seem as though the batterer is losing control because of his angry behavior.
To that end, most batterers are very good manipulators.
It is important to remember, however, that not all people who were victims of abuse as children will turn into batterers.
Can you identify a potential batterer when you meet him/her?
You can talk to someone you trust, or call any 24-hour hotline. Build her knowledge of options and advocate for her.
Basically, a victim needs support, someone who will listen to her, and she needs information about services. Is it true that most violent relationships go through cycles - from tension building to an active battering incident, leading to the honeymoon or “remorseful” stage? Domestic violence is not a form of losing control; it is an attempt at gaining control.
This pattern, called the “Cycle of Violence”, came from the battered women’s movement in the 1970’s. Women’s rights activists today have changed the model, renaming it the “Campaign of Violence.” The new name suggests that the violence is ongoing and multi-faceted, taking a variety of forms. Most acts of violence are premeditated, occurring behind closed doors.
As a result, violence may be exacerbated by the use of these substances.
It is important to remember, however, that it is not the cause.