Dating nice guys boring
Second, I had yet another patient who – (I feel obligated to say at this point that the specific details of these patient stories are made up, and several of them are composites of multiple different people, in order to protect confidentiality.I’m preserving the general gist, nothing more) – I had a patient, let’s call him ‘Henry’ for reasons that are to become clear, who came to hospital after being picked up for police for beating up his fifth wife.And here I was, tried my best never to be mean to anyone, pursued a productive career, worked hard to help all of my friends. Even three years ago, I knew there were Henry-like people – your abusers, your rapists, your bullies – and it wasn’t hard to notice that none of them seemed to be having the crushing loneliness problem I was suffering from.I didn’t think I deserved to have the prettiest girl in school prostrate herself at my feet. And, like my patient Dan, I just wanted to know – how is this fair?I’ve seen a lot of Hard Workers (TM) like you, and scratch their entitled surface and you find someone who thinks just because they punched a time card once everyone needs to bow down and worship them.If you complain about “rich white kids who get legacy admissions to Yale,” you’re raising a huge red flag that you’re the kind of person who steals from their employer, and companies are exactly right to give you a wide berth.He’s been married five times and had multiple extra-marital affairs and pre-marital partners, many of whom were well aware of his past domestic violence convictions and knew exactly what they were getting into.
I’m hard-working, I’ve never missed a day of work until now, I’ve always given a hundred and ten percent.“But I’m such a hard worker.” No, hard workers don’t feel like they’re entitled to other people’s money just because they ask nicely.“Why do rich white kids who got legacy admissions to Yale receive cushy sinecures, but I have to work two grueling minimum wage jobs just to keep a roof over my head?So I asked the obvious question: “What happened to your first four wives? I wish, I wish I wish, that Henry was an isolated case.” “Oh,” said the patient, “Domestic violence issues. One of them I got put in jail, and she’d moved on once I got out. “And why, exactly, were you beating your wife this time? “She was yelling at me, because I was cheating on her with one of my exes.” “With your ex-wife? ” “Yeah.” “So you beat up your wife, she left you, you married someone else, and then she came back and had an affair on the side with you? But he’s interesting more for his anomalously high number of victims than for the particular pattern.
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But later that night I was browsing the Internet and I was reminded of what the worse response humanly possible.