I am dating a married woman

Let’s look at that list again, and you may see some challenges.

A man who has been married to one woman for over forty years can be challenging.

A widower can be still married in his mind, often feeling guilty, as if he is cheating on his beloved, deceased wife. Widowers can have wonderful qualities, if you are able to wait it out.

As the new woman, you want a man who will see you for yourself, as an equal partner, not as a “mistress” he feels guilty about. It takes some time for a widower to deal with the loss of his wife and be able to accept another. But if you are expecting something to develop faster, and if you have expectations of coupling with gusto, your plans may end up in sadness. A woman must carefully evaluate the qualities of a widower and then talk to him openly about her needs.

Call me shallow, etc etc whatever, that's fine with me.

I know me a helluva lot better than anyone else does. Since I am not a horny, partying twenty something or a desparate to have kids thirty something these rules work for me.

I loved my wife deeply, she decided she no longer loved me and she wasn't "happy". I didn't ask to be in my 40s and single, but reality being what it is I live with it. I might have a steady girlfriend if the occasion arises, but she'd have to be pretty damn spectacular for me to make that leap.

I have had all my children, I am financially secure and have a plan for myself that is better done without a typical American woman's bullshit to goof it up.

You try not to get your feelings hurt; but alas, it is impossible to believe that he wants anything to do with you, when her presence is everywhere. Or, he might introduce you, but they may not want to meet you, or get to know anything about you. “Trying” to love you is not a phrase you want to hear.

If a woman is there at the right time for a widower, then she is in luck.

I was married and against my wishes the marriage ended.

They might be used to a wife who did all the domestic things for them, such as the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, or even fixing a running toilet.

So you see a widower online, and you are thinking, “What a great catch this man is! ” Not having done your homework and investigated the challenges, you are encouraged.

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