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These six tips on how to emotionally detach from someone you care about will show you how a healthy detachment can help you retain a sense of yourself in a relationship.Being detached from someone you care for doesn’t mean you’re closed off, aloof, or emotionally unavailable for love.To love and respect yourself, you may need to make practical changes in your life.Maybe that means losing a few pounds, going back to school, or spending more time with people you respect.If you’re serious, here are some suggestions for making an exit that focuses on self-care. Whatever story he has told you about why he’s with both of you, the cold hard truth is that he has chosen not to leave because having the best of both worlds is what he chooses. Blaming her for his infidelity and blaming you for why he hasn’t left ignores the bigger picture of the real issues. I know that I never saw myself as a sideline woman, no matter how low my self-esteem was. This is a good time to think about your short-, medium- and long-term goals, as well as your values. If you can afford it, go away for a few days or a week to somewhere nice or go and stay with friends and family. Stop being where he expects you to be and break whatever routine you have. There is someone in your life who can and will be empathetic and support you with your exit.Think very hard about whether you want to continue living on the fringes and in the shadows of his life? Is this affair taking you towards your needs, expectations, and wishes or is this taking you in the opposite direction? Remember that occasions like birthdays, Christmas, New Years won’t have to be spent waiting for his call or snatching a moment together. Turn off your phone and let the important people know where you are so that you don’t worry. When I speak to women involved with attached men, whether they realise it or not, they are almost always in a tight routine. A confidante gives you a sanity check but also gives you a rock of support.“Disentangling” or detachment’ is about creating enough emotional space between yourself and another person so you can see the realities of your relationship and make healthier choices.These tips revolve around detaching from an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, but can be applied to any type of friendship or relationship.

Below, I describe what it means to “let there be spaces in your togetherness.” Here are a few tips for healthy detachment…

Maybe it means getting up early to exercise or finding out about student loans.

To detach from an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband, you need to find a sense of self-identity.

Emotional over-involvement happens when thoughts become focused on the other person in ways that are unhealthy for both the individual and the relationship.

Over-involvement can lead to feelings of anxiety, agitation, helplessness, depression, anger, and even resentment.

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