Patron saint for dating couples

A few days into the trip, JR informed me of the unfortunate fate of a certain Yiddish-singing piano player.

It wasn’t clear whether this had happened on our ship or another one, but it was back to the Catskills for this guy.

One particular cabin, I was told, doubled as a pop-up brothel where you could either “dock your boat” or “get your anchor tossed,” depending on your proclivity.

I was told repeatedly that it was common to be “straight on shore, gay on the high seas.” * * * s anticipated, I stumbled through my first family show, the kids frolicking in the aisles.

They complained and more were conjured up from storage.

As I went into my opening joke about being from New York, someone yelled, “Pussy!

Needless to say, I hadn’t stockpiled material children could relate to.

Afterward I got a note from the entertainment director to remove the phrase “knowing each other biblically” and my tried-and-true swear substitute “mother-flower.” But the good news was that “Johnson” was acceptable.

After I got off stage, a drunk Texan approached me and said, “I got one for you. But it wasn’t until the last few days of the cruise that things got really crazy. Finally, the captain used the phrase “you’re not in trouble” – which always means that you are in trouble. After about 25 minutes of announcements, the captain ordered all the passengers back to their cabins until this missing woman was found. I waited in the hall because there was barely room for both of us, then went back inside when he finished. In response, the other one sighed wearily and said, “Here we go again.” Soon the captain announced that the search had ended; there had been an unfortunate accident, we could now leave our cabins, and please keep the Jameson family in our thoughts.

I woke up to a strange announcement from the captain, asking a lady who I’ll refer to as Sally Jameson, to report to the front of the ship. A couple hours later I popped my head out and eavesdropped on two crewmembers. As we docked into Mexico and investigators came aboard, I couldn’t stop thinking about what had just happened. There had been a gap in the time between when the she disappeared and when it was reported.

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