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I wish I could say that this experience was isolated, but it’s been more the rule rather than the exception for me.I think of all that CRUNK club-hopping I did in ATL back in the early days of the CFC.But um, I’m not trying to date a dude with a fat fetish.No hate on fetishes, but being the object of that particular one feels…Getting back to Big Boi, the reality is that Big Girls do need love. So as much as I resent the limited range of desire that it seems (Black) men have and the ever-present male privilege that allows them to never have to interrogate their sexual and romantic investments, I hate my limited partnering prospects much more. ) In my thirties, I’m prioritizing self-care and that includes being loved on and getting my groove on. And I know for sure that those things are feminist.
as women is difficult, because it can make us feel powerless and/or less-than-feminist.Even so, one could argue that these mainstream films reflect the desires of white America, or more to the point, white men, and not Black men, which up to this point is the only group of men I’ve dated.But with brothers I find, that they, too, have internalized a particular relationship to the body-type most associated with the mammy figure.It was clear to me that he wasn’t really that interested in a serious thing with any of the girls at the bar that night. But why the cold shoulder, from a brother I’d never met?Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew?